Lost
by XxScriboLegoxX
Summary: The war is lost. Malak has won and the Republic will be crushed in a matter of weeks. But for reasons unknown to many he has spared Revan and keeps her alive. Now, as she tries to break her and command her loyalty, she does her best to hang on and wait for any attempt at an escape. L/DS!F!RevanXMalak
1. Chapter 1

Edited 4/18/2013

Second chapter is going to be rewritten. At the current moment it does not completely match up with this re-written chapter. Once it had been edited I will make a note of it here and on Chapter 2. Thanks!

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The moment her body came down on the hard floor of the Star Forge she felt the last of her strength jarred out of her. Blood and spit spattered the floor as she spit the mixture from her shattered teeth and the sleeve of her white tunic was smeared red as she wiped her broken nose clean. Her muscles screamed at her as she tried to push herself up from the ground but a violent blow to her stomach sent her flying onto her back, her air leaving her body. She heaved, holding her stomach and staring up at the ceiling. She saw Malak circle her a moment but he did not strike to kill. He closed in slowly, nudging her bruised leg with his boot. He waited for her to regain some of her strength, willing her to stand and continue to fight.

Slowly she did, rolling herself onto her stomach, pushing her body up on trembling arms. She got onto her knees and stared up at Malak, anger, hatred and defeat in her eyes. He only stared back and waited. She raised her hands, struggling to find any miniscule trace of strength she could to muster up an attack but there was nothing. No electricity left her palms, her body did not slowly begin to heal. She was completely drained void of all strength. Still she tried to get to her feet. She placed her palm down, pushing herself up, but his boot landed on her side, pushing her over with ease, and she once again was on the floor.

Mechanical laughter filled the room as Malak watched her, his yellow eyes alight with sadistic pleasure. Electricity was pulsing through his veins, his body hummed deliciously. Never in his life had he felt so incredibly powerful. To see Revan, his once beloved master, broken, bloody, defeated and at his feet fueled him and he moved around her slowly. Her eyes met his, her emotions a tumultuous mixture shining through. As she tried to rise this time he allowed her, wishing he could smile all the while. She had a small dagger in hand, her lightsaber having been destroyed moments before, and she sunk into a fighting position.

She watched as Malak disengaged his lightsaber and hung it back on his built. He got into his own position, unarmed. He waited for her to attack and he did not have to wait long. She through her feeble body at him, aiming for his chest, but she was far too slow. His hand wrapped around her wrists, squeezing the bone hard. She cried out as the sound of cracking bone filled the room and Malak pushed her downward. As she plummeting to the ground he raised his knee and her nose collided with his kneecap, more crunching bones willing the room.

Still nothing was said. Revan's heavy panting filled the room, but nothing else. Occasionally the sound of one of the monitors would sound off, but they were ignored by both. Again she tried to stand and Malak watched with delight to see if she could. Her entire body trembled, her muscles unable to withstand much more. He was amazed she had made it even this far. Her arms and legs had been tired when she arrived, and she had a nasty gash on her side from the droids he had deployed, but she had been in high spirits, spouting off about the greatness of the light side and its power. He almost laughed at the thought.

She almost pushed herself up from her position on all fours, but the moment her hands left the floor she fell, groaning in pain. Her dark hair was plastered to her face with sweat and blood and she tried to push it back as she rose again. She tried and failed three more time to stand before she remained on the floor, her legs curled under her, body curved, and hands holding her into a half seated position.

"Have you finally given up, Revan?" he asked, the first words passing between them since the batter began. She hung her head in shame, her eyes shit as tears streamed down her cheeks. She felt her head yanked up by an invisible force and her face was bared to Malak.

"Will you no longer fight?"

"Stop," she choked out. Her voice was hoarse, hardly more than a whisper. Toward the beginning of the fight he had hit her so hard in the throat with his elbow; she was surprised she could speak at all.

"Stop what, Revan?"

"Stop playing with me," she managed to get out.

"You used to like watching me play with my prey," he reminded her and new memories came flashing back, causing a sharp pain in her brain. It had been happening since the Leviathan and had been horribly debilitating. She saw herself seated on a table in their old training room on her flag ship, laughing as Malak tortured a captured Jedi, turning his brain into mush. The sudden realization that it was most likely the same fate she would meet came crashing down on her.

"That was a long time ago," she whispered, her eyes fluttering closer and her head lolling on her neck a moment.

"No, no, no, you mustn't fall asleep," he nearly coed. "We have much more to do."

"Just kill me, Malak," she said bringing her blood shot eyes to his.

"That would be so little fun," he replied. "You will be the last to die."

"Don't …" she trailed off as she felt him siphoning off of her remaining power.

"You are in no position to make commands," he told her.

"Please, don't kill them," she breathed. "Please don't."

She reached out with the remaining strength she had and clutched at his cloak. She fisted the fabric in desperation, trying to make sense of things in her ailing mind. Her body just wanted to shut down.

"Give me a reason, Revan," he said, looking down at her. Her eyes, a soft brown, the whites blood red with broken vessels, looked back to him shiny and wet.

"I have nothing to offer you," she answered and he sneered.

"Nothing that I cannot readily take," he replied and she looked back down, a shiver running through her.

"I'm _begging_ you," she whispered.

"Beg? Lady Revan, _begging_?" he laughed. "Oh, how far you have fallen."

He leaned down and wrapped a large hand around her throat, squeezing tightly. She struggled for oxygen as he looked into her eyes, and he remembered her the way she was before, before the civil war, before the Mandalorians wars. The way she was the first time he saw her. Beautiful, vibrant and full of life, Charismatic and passionate. He would have followed her to hell if she asked him to, and she had.

"I'm your master now, Revan," he hissed, his fingers nearly crushing her windpipe. "I will do as I please."

He released her but forced her head to the side. She fell to the ground, her eyes fluttering closed. By the time she hit the ground, she was already unconscious.

()

Revan came in and out of consciousness as she was carried into her holding cell. She was vaguely aware of being pulled up by the wrists, metal manacles hooking her to the ceiling. She was in only her breeches and inner tunic, her feet bare and cold. Her arms ached terribly as she was hung from the ceiling, her feet momentarily struggling to find the floor beneath her. She thought she heard the sith soldiers laughing at her, but the sound came from the end of a long tunnel, and she could hardly open her eyes.

"This is Darth Revan?" she heard a voice say God knows how long later. She tried to open her eyes but her not, she was so drained of energy. She felt a hand on her inner thigh and tried to kick him away, but her muscles would not move. She vaguely wondered if it was her exhaustion or if she had been drugged.

"I wouldn't touch her, Ulgo," another voice said. She could hear his nervousness even in her haze. "The Dark Lord was adamant she not be touched."

"Like he cares if we have a little fun with her," the other soldier, the one with his hand on her thigh said. She felt his hand skirting it's way to her center and she wriggled and writhed, trying to get away from him but it did no good. He laughed, crudely, cruelly. His hand pressed against her through her clothing, while the other untied her inner tunic.

"Ulgo, really… the Dark Lord –"

He was cut off by the view of his comrades body flying against the far side of the room, his body cracking with the force in which it hit, and fall to the floor. Revan was thankful that the hand was no longer touching her, but she felt a new sense of dread wash over her as she listened to the guard grovel.

"Out," she heard Malak's mechanical voice order the terrified guard. He fled and the doors shut, leaving none but Malak, Revan, and the now dead guard.

"You look good in chains," he purred as he stepped closer to her. Finally, she managed to open her eyes just in time to see Malak's hand coming up to pet a loose strand of hair. "I surpassed you long ago, Revan."

"You betrayed me from afar," she said with as much bite as she could muster. "You took the coward's way out."

"I did what you taught me to do," Malak shot back. "You lost sight."

"After what we had been through…" she paused to breath. "I trusted you."

"I was the rightful master. You should have surrendered the dark mantel to me years before I was forced into action."

"Is that why you keep me alive? Do you need me around to pretend you are powerful?"

A backhanded smack landed to her cheek and she cried out. She had no time to recover, for when she turned back toward Malak his hand was in her hair, yanking backward, forcing her eyes to look up at him.

"I _am _powerful," Malak hissed. "Who could possibly stop me know?"

"No one," Revan answered honestly. "The republic fleet is destroyed, your old master subjugated. You have won, Malak, now why am I still alive?"

"Would you rather I kill you?" he asked, his hand tightened in her hair. She winced.

"Yes," she breathed out. Her head was yanked further back and a cry of pain ripped from her throat.

"_That's _why you are alive," he hissed and stepped back. Raising his hands, he put all his energy into her torture. He continued ever after her voice was gone and her screams grew quiet. Her beaten, bloody body hanging from the chains, tears leaking out of her swollen eyes, it was a euphoric sight. It was hard to believe the power she once wielded. Her body was small, fragile. It always had been, but now, she seemed even smaller.

"You will pledge yourself to me Revan. By the time I am done with you, you will be mine."

He renewed his torture, only finding relief when she finally fell into unconsciousness.

()

She awoke again to stinging pain on her thighs, then her waist, her chest, and face. High pressure water hoses were being poured on her full blast. She could not inhale. Her lungs burned as she waited for an opportunity to breath. When the hoses were turned off her now naked skin was red and raw. She shook violently the freezing water exposing her to the cold air.

She awoke again, food being shoveled into her mouth and forced down her throat. She threw it back up, causing an angry punch from the guard to be laid to her stomach. She did not hear the second guard reprimand him.

"Only the Dark Lord may touch her."

The guards left without giving her anymore food and she fell back to sleep.

More water. More force feeding. More vomiting. More shivering. More trembling. More pain.

Soon, every hour buckets of ice cold water were thrown on her, keeping her from any sort of sound sleep. She was fed once a day, but her stomach could not keep it down. She was in constant pain, needing sleep but unable to get it. Her arms were nearly pulled out of her sockets by now, the weight of her body tearing her ligaments.

She could always feel Malak though. He stayed close to her, that she knew. He only disappeared a few hours at a time, and that was due to her own power slipping, not his. When his presence became very strong she knew he was meditating over her, reaching out to feel her emotions and test her limits. She tried to be strong at that point, but she could almost feel his amusement as he felt her wall.

Shortly after another round of icy water she hung her head, tears leaking from her eyes.

"Malak," she whispered, her voice hoarse and shaky. "Malak!"

Her voice cracked as she screamed, the sound hardly intelligible. She continued to say his name, the volume fluctuating with her sore throat. She continued to whisper his name, even as the cell door open and she was unhooked from the ceiling. She fell to the ground hard, and she was sure that she broke her ankle in the fall. Her bones were weak and brittle, and she could not get to her feet. She did not even try. She waited for the soldier to grab one of her arms, a second man draping a robe over her shoulders, and then taking her other arm. She wept softly as they dragged her by the arms, her shoulders screaming in agony.

"Malak," she whispered, her knees being rubbed raw against the hard floor. "Malak."

"We're taking you to him, sweetheart," the soldier said sarcastically and the other laughed.

"To think we followed this bitch," the other said and laughter met her ears again. She dragged onto the bridge and dropped in front of Malak. She looked up, her eyes starting to adjust to the new light. Malak was looking out the window, admiring the star forge and all its glory.

"Well Revan?" he asked and she lowered her face to the cool ground. She just wanted to sleep.

"You win," she whispered against the floor, but he seemed to hear her.

"I already know that," he mused. "Tell me something that I do not already know."

"You… you are more powerful… than I ever was."

He turned back to look at her, gazed into her tired eyes, her gaunt face and her nearly emaciated was a little bump on the floor, the cloak he had ordered her to be covered with completly engulfing her small body.

"I…" she tried to think but her brain was so deprived of sleep she struggled. "I'm yours…"

"Mine," Malak murmured. "You were always mine."

She nodded against the floor, her eyes closing.

"I… I pledge myself to you, just… please… let me sleep…. Please…"

"Bring her to my apartments," Malak said with a wave of his hand. He turned back to Revan and let out a deep breath through his nose. A fragile, shattered mind is the easiest to manipulate, and he would have Revan the way he wanted her soon enough. He had dreamed of this moment since they had first set out to destroy the Mandalorians. Bent to his will, obeying is orders, worshiping him with her mind and her body. He was nearly giddy with anticipation, but he kept himself calm. It was still Revan he was dealing with, and he did not wish to underestimate his old master.

Unfortunate he did, for Malak had certainly broken her body but had yet to break her mind.

()

A/N: Just thought I'd clean it up. Going to redo chapter two, and then continue on from there. Review please!


	2. Chapter 2

The Sith that carried Revan into Malak's personal apartments were indifferent to her comfort, trying neither to cause her pain, nor lessen the stress placed on her weakened body. She was tossed onto the bed without ceremony, her tattered robes cut from her body, leaving her naked against the white blankets. She turned her bruised body into a ball, hoping it would somehow lessen the pain but it did nothing. Dark bruises covered her pale skin, her ribs jutted out from her body, calling attention to the lack of sustenance she had been receiving.

When another soldier entered the room and placed a steaming bowl of food on the table she could not bring herself to move. The softness of the bed beneath her was too soft, too warm and welcoming. She could not move even if she wanted to, her body aching so badly. The soldier left without assuring she ate, leaving her once again alone in the room of her old apprentice.

She could still feel his presence, if dimly, on the other side of the ship. She knew it was she that occupied his thoughts and he was unknowingly projecting himself out to her. She latched onto it, it being the only source of strength and comfort she had available to her, but the moment she did the energy pulled back. It left her empty and cold and as she searched for him again she could not find him. He must have felt her, thinking she was trying to siphon off of his power.

Revan closed her eyes, fat tears rolling down her cheeks. She concentrated hard, focusing on all of her strength and projected herself outward again, praying he would feel her trying to engage him but he did not return. If he did feel her presence, he gave no indication, no small sign he recognized it.

She faded in and out of consciousness for hours, never knowing if she were truly awake or simply dreaming. Her vision blurred and her head ached. When the time came that she needed to relieve herself she crawled to the bathroom, her legs unable to support her, the muscles having wasted slightly from lack of use. Once she had finished her difficult task her strength failed her half way back to the bed and she lay on the cold hard floor. She did not know exactly when she fell asleep, but soon she found herself being lifted, large, powerful arms wrapping around her fragile frame.

"…hurts…" she whispered but got no response. She shivered as cold air touched her naked body but curled into the heat against her. She was laid down on the white cotton sheets and felt the blankets being pulled up around her. When her eyes parted a small smile came to her lips. There was Malak, as he was years ago, head full of thick black hair, skin alive and sun kissed.

"Alek," she whispered, bringing up a small hand to touch his cheek.

"I am not Alek anymore," he said. Revan frowned. His cheek felt hard, cold, like steel. His voice sounded like a machine. She squeezed her eyes shut and opened them again but there Alek stood. She did not again, pressed her palm harder into his cold, hard cheek. He leaned in closer, his lips hovering over her own but she did not feel his breath on her face. She could not feel warmth from his lips, only the coldness of metal. He spoke his voice was hard, deep, and mechanical, so different from the voice she fell in love with.

"Alek is dead."

* * *

When her eyes opened she was dressed in the black robes of a dark Padawan. Her inner robes were a dark navy blue, a black belt wrapped snugly around her waist, and white breeches met by black boots at her knee. She was on her back lying on the bed she had fallen asleep in days earlier. Slowly she saw up, pressing her hand to her head. As badly as she ached, she felt infinitely better than she had before her long rest. She slid from the bed slowly, reaching out to one of the posts to steady herself. She knew Malak was in the apartments. She could feel him, but she heard not a sound and she waited a moment, keeping her feet soundly on the ground beneath her.

When he emerged from a door on the far side of the room it took everything within her to remain standing. Her legs trembled and she wanted nothing more than to sit back down on the bed, but she did not wish to show any more weakness to him. She would make him think she was loyal and submissive to him but she would not turn herself into a simpering slave.

"You have awakened. I did not know how much longer I would have to wait."

"Have I been asleep long, master?" she asked and he tilted his head slightly, seemingly searching for sincerity.

"Three days," he replied. "You been fed through chemical compounds. Your physical strength should be returning."

"I feel much better, Master, thank you," she said and paused when he slowly came towards her. As he came to stand before her she lowered herself to her knees, pressing her right fist into the palm of her right hands bowing her head as an apprentice must greet her master."I am ready to serve you, Master."

Her skin crawled in a mixture of disgust and something she could not ascertain as he bent toward her, hooking a long finger under her chin and making her look up at him. She looked into his eyes, surrounding with black circles, yellow like the dead, and so full of anger, hatred and pain. She let out a shaky breath, waiting for him so speak but he only looked her over for a moment.

"One day, Raven, you will mean those words," he told her and slowly let go of her chin, and straightened himself back out. "Until then, I have a more pragmatic way of making you submit."

A frown graced her pale, tired features and he ordered her to stand and follow him. They walked through the ship and Revan soon was able to learn they were no longer on the star forge and that at some point during her sleep she must have been moved onto another ship. The two rooms she had been in looked so identical to each other Revan had not even considered she could have been on a different ship. As they walked by soldiers saluted Malak, some stopped to bow, and Revan was reminded of the feeling of absolute control she once had. When she would walk down the hall and people would scatter in fear or bow in reverence, salute her military prowess and grovel at her feet.

She felt a slight tug of jealously and anger at Malak but she tried to beat it down. His place as the Dark Lord was not something to be envied. He needed to be stopped and Revan could not let her emotions get in the way. She needed to remain calm and collected. She tried to talk herself down from the anger she felt at Malak but was shaken from her meditation when she heard Malak chuckle ahead of her.

"Do not fight it, Revan," he said and inhaled deeply through his nose. "Your hatred… it is so delicious. I remember it from so long ago."

"I will serve you because you are stronger, but I will not fall again."

"Fall… such an interesting term the Jedi use. We did not fall Revan," he said and turned, his eyes locking on hers. "We rose from the ashes of the Republic into something more. We were Gods you and I."

"But you wanted to be worshiped alone," Revan replied boldly.

"No, first, Revan. Not alone."

"Then why didn't you do it differently? Why I was sleeping? You always had constant access to my chambers."

"How much you remember, Revan," he would have smiled if he could. "It appears your mind was stronger than the Jedi could have imagined."

"Fragments have been coming back since the Leviathan. They come back as dreams."

He said nothing, gave her one more odd look and turned to continue walking. She followed him, swaying only once or twice before they made it to the elevator. They descended in silence, Revan leaning against the wall for support. She glanced over at Malak once, who looked straight ahead. She felt herself once again project outward and latch onto his energy but without any control. He was the nearest source of force, and her weakened, Jedi trained body acted the only way it knew how.

"That is not a technique of the Jedi, Revan," he said as the doors open and he turned to look at her. "You try to feed off of my power. The Jedi do not believe in such tactics… and you think you have changed."

"I'm not doing it on purpose," she breathed.

"No, because it's who you are," he said and she felt him pull back from her seeping all the energy her body had been able to absorb, as well as most of the energy that was her own. She followed him in half a daze down a long corridor and leaned against the wall, pressing her face to the cool surface when they stopped. She heard the door open, but before she could move again she felt Malak's large hand wrap around the back of her neck, and she was thrown into the room.

She stumbled forward and hit the ground with a thud, her knees banging against the floor.

"Aayla!" she heard her name yelled out in unison and she looked up. Standing in a large force cage in front of her were her friends, Carth, Mission, Zalbaar, Juhanni, Jolee and Canderous, but Bastila was nowhere to be seen. She felt a smile of relief spread over her face and she turned back to look at Malak. Her eyes were filled with gratitude and shock as she looked at him.

"You kept them alive?" she asked, remaining on the floor and he stepped into the room.

"It is you that keep them alive, Revan, with your obedience."

"What's he talking about Aayla?" Carth asked and Revan lowed her head in shame. She could think of nothing that could possibly justify her weakness in Carth's eyes, nor could she tell him right now that she still planned an escape. She cried out when Malak fisted her hair with his hand, forcing her head up so she could look at her old companions. She reached up and grabbed onto his wrist, trying to lessen the pain of her scalp.

"Tell them Revan," he said menacingly. "Tell them what you have done."

"Aayla?" Mission asked stepping up close to the force field. Her young features were full of fright. "What is he talking about."

"I… I have…"

Revan looked up at Malak.

"Please don't make me say it," she whispered and the fist in her hand tightened and she cried out. "I have pledged myself to Darth Malak."

"No! No you wouldn't do that!" Carth cried, stepping up to the force field. His hands touched it before he could think and he jumped back, pain radiating through his limbs. Malak let out a cruel bout of laughter and looked down into Revan's wet eyes.

"I assure you she has," Malak told him. He came to stand closer to her, her hair still in his hand, the fingers of his free hand skirting down her cheeks. "Isn't she beautiful Carth? Don't you wish you could have had her just once?"

"Malak –"

"I am your _master_!" he hissed and pulled her face closer to his.

"Master, master," she rushed out. "Please don't do this."

"You mustn't be ashamed of your body, Revan," he replied, yanking on her hair to pull her into a standing position. Her back was pressed into his chest and he gripped her chin, holding her face to the side to both he and Carth could have a view of her beautiful, if tired face. "And what a beautiful body it is."

"Get your hands off of her!" Carth screamed and a smirk came to his eyes.

"She is mine to do with as I please, Onasi," he replied, taking the hand that was not on her chin and pressed it to her stomach, pushed her body more firmly into his. "She has _always _been _mine._"

Carth looked at her, his eyes burning with rage, jealously and fear.

"Tell him, Revan," he said as if he were speaking to a child. "Tell him who you belong too."

"Malak, please," she whispered.

"Who do you belong to?" he asked slowly, deeply, and harshly. He allowed her only a moment hesitation before throwing her back down to the floor. She hit it with a grunt and turned to look at Malak, scooting away from him on her bottom as she did.

"It appears Revan must be taught," Malak said and she screwed her eyes shut. Right when Revan was expecting pain to wrack her body her ears were met with the blood curdling scream of Carth. Malak pumped lighting into the force field, directing it all into Carth's body.

"Stop! Stop!" Revan screamed, her voice shrill, but Malak continued, never once letting up on his torture. Revan managed to get to her feet and ran toward Malak, wrapping her arms around him in hopes of stopping him but it was in vain. He continued on, and Revan's weak punches to his chest and arms did nothing to detour him. He only began to laugh.

"Look at him Revan. Look at him," he ordered and finally she obeyed, tears coming to her eyes as she watched him writhe in pain. "You would chose that pathetic excuse for a man over me?"

"Malak, I've surrendered to you, please, you must stop. You're killing him!" she cried.

"Not until you get down on your knees and _beg_," he hissed back.

And to her utter shame, overwhelming humiliation, and budding of indescribable hatred, she did.

()()

A/N:

Trying to get back into the writing game, and while this isn't my favorite chapter I have ever written I am pleased with it.

Let me know what you think please. I need to motivation to help me get going.

Happy Reading!


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